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I'm currently in the painful process of saying goodbye to my friends, job, and life in DC. In less then five days I will be in Canada with no return ticket or specific plans to come back before Christmas. I've been preparing for this week for months . . . yet somehow it still doesn't seem real to me.

This is always the hardest part of a long distance move. The wheels have been set in motion - notice has been given at work, the lease hasn't been renewed, plans with friends stop after a certain point - yet the destination is hazy at best. You can't really know what the new place/life is like until you live it, but it is incredibly clear what you are giving up.

This is always where I get cold feet, where I have to talk myself back into my plans nearly daily, and where I just want to go back in time and never set the ball rolling on this plan in the first place.

I know from experience that my confidence will come back. It will take a few weeks in my new life, but one day I will get a feeling of familiarity in my head at something that was brand new just weeks before, and my doubts will be gone.

Technically this journey started nearly a year ago - I certainly can't leave the path now - but the first step that I will remember in the future will be the one from the jetway to the plane on Sunday. Between now and then there are a lot of goodbyes, endings, and probably unavoidable tears.

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redleaf

December 2012

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