![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Bittersweet Familiarity
Oct. 8th, 2011 10:05This week has been a busy one. I took my first trip (since I moved here) to Toronto and got to see a bunch of people! It was so comforting to see people who have known me for more then 2 months - and at the same time incredibly unsettling. Since I hadn't seen anyone in person since I moved here it was shocking to realize how much I had changed while I hung out with them. Being here has changed me faster then I expected, but to be honest, as much as it was great to see them and to feel like part of the company again, I was really looking forward to going home to Waterloo by Thursday morning. This is not to say that I don't want my friends to come visit me or move here (hint, hint!), I think it just means that in the end, despite how miserable I was to leave everyone, I made the right choice for me, with the right timing.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my new friends were covering for me in my absence. Not that I had much doubt, but they are turning into excellent friends and i'm looking forward to all the adventures we have planned in the coming weeks (did I mention October is going to be crazy??? I might not be in town for a full week until November!).
My second largest hope for the TO trip was to not have to think about my nationality for a few days (since i'd be hanging with Americans). This turned out to be an incredibly false hope since my nationality was in my face more then ever. It became clear to me that after this experience I am going to have trouble "being an american" again .. . . but i'm not yet sure I want to pursue being Canadian. Kind of a pickle . . . that does have some time to work itself out. But I really do want to settle somewhere and feel at home. Unfortunately, as much as I try to downplay its importance, my national identity is a factor in how I feel at home in a place. Hopefully time will reveal more cards and my choice will become easier.
So I now have my first visitor in Waterloo! Which I will write about once she leaves, but after this glut of visiting/visitor I probably won't see anyone I know from the states until mid December. Feast and famine but what can you do. I feel like I see America more then I see the people I care about in it. Niagara falls back in Sept, the southernmost tip of Canada (and possibly Detroit) next week, who knows after that!
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my new friends were covering for me in my absence. Not that I had much doubt, but they are turning into excellent friends and i'm looking forward to all the adventures we have planned in the coming weeks (did I mention October is going to be crazy??? I might not be in town for a full week until November!).
My second largest hope for the TO trip was to not have to think about my nationality for a few days (since i'd be hanging with Americans). This turned out to be an incredibly false hope since my nationality was in my face more then ever. It became clear to me that after this experience I am going to have trouble "being an american" again .. . . but i'm not yet sure I want to pursue being Canadian. Kind of a pickle . . . that does have some time to work itself out. But I really do want to settle somewhere and feel at home. Unfortunately, as much as I try to downplay its importance, my national identity is a factor in how I feel at home in a place. Hopefully time will reveal more cards and my choice will become easier.
So I now have my first visitor in Waterloo! Which I will write about once she leaves, but after this glut of visiting/visitor I probably won't see anyone I know from the states until mid December. Feast and famine but what can you do. I feel like I see America more then I see the people I care about in it. Niagara falls back in Sept, the southernmost tip of Canada (and possibly Detroit) next week, who knows after that!
